Being Britney

So, let's talk the VMAs.

You know, I actually didn't watch her performance until Monday night, after reading everyone and their mother weigh in on the end of a pop princess' career. So by the time I saw it, I was expecting the Official Hot Mess of the Year.

It wasn't that bad.

Okay, please don't think that means that I think that it was at all good, by any stretch. It wasn't. It HELLA wasn't. It was bad, but the media really laid it on a bit too thick. Much of what I read slammed Britney about her body, which was irritating to me, considering she's had two babies and is still more fit than most American women...hell, than most Americans period. Granted, Ms. Spears is in an industry where physical appearance is critical, and is an entertainer who--let's be real--basically uses her body to supplant talent (or lack thereof...). So no, she didn't look great and would have looked better in something more discrete, but c'mon, she didn't look disgusting or anything. Though someone clearly did lie to her about the weave.

And the performance... well, especially considering the woman's main (only?) talents are as a dancer and performer--please don't ever let anyone call her a singer!--it was bad. Britney was clearly under-rehearsed and looked just plain uncommitted. She seemed nearly as bored as I felt, and couldn't even bother to pretend to sing for seemingly a quarter of the song. I kinda felt bad for her: she just wasn't ready, and I bet she got a lot of pressure from her label (an album is scheduled for November) to make her comeback and defy the haters and naysayers.

But a "career-killing performance"? Nah. I don't think the ramifications are nearly that grandiose. If I were her management, she'd disappear entirely for the next two months, focus on dance and body image, then bust back out with a really hot single ("Gimme More" is decent, but is too slow and just generally mediocre; the best thing about it is that killer Dave-Chappelle-channelling-James-Brown-esque opening line, "It's Britney, bitch").

Wow...who knew I had so much to say about Britney! Don't judge me; I'm no fan (though if I were I'd skewer you for judging me anyway. Bastard.). I AM a fan of pop music, and I'm always down for a catchy, fun tune with killer production and a bangin' beat, and occasionally Spears hits that spot for me, but I'm no fan. I am ALSO a fan of a good comeback though, and if she can do that artistically (I use the word loosely!) and maybe bring some maturity and something philanthropic to the table, she'd be golden.

And those are my two cents. (okay, that was more like forty cents...)